Aftermath
by BohemianRebel
Summary: Kylo Ren tries to deal with chaotic thoughts about the Rebellion and the girl he relates to. Their link keeps him on edge. WARNING - STAR WARS THE LAST JEDI SPOILERS - This plays out after the Last Jedi. image by Ariata on DeviantArt
1. Thoughts

**A/N: I do not own Star Wars and all that stuff. I am however a big fan.**

 **Reviews are appreciated! I barely write shorts but after seeing the movie I was inspired to write this. Have fun!**

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The girl had left him.

He had offered her everything he had to give, and she had refused him. A myriad of emotions clawed their way up in his chest, but his rage was the one that stood out. As always it did.

Ben. That's what she had called him, and he had responded to it. He had listened to her, and had set all his hopes on her. He had killed _Snoke_ for her! Of course Snoke had always been on his list, but this betrayal he had executed was fueled with hope she had provided him.

Rey… Why did she not want what he had to offer? To leave their pasts behind and start a new ruling, where no one would be allowed to hurt them, where they could be together.

Together…

He honestly didn't know what he wanted from her in that regard. From his teenage years on, after Skywalker had tried to kill him in his sleep, he had always been alone. He didn't have friends, he didn't _need_ friends. He was stronger than all of them, and they were terrified of him.

She however, wasn't. She had trusted him. She had given him her hand when they had been apart. In her he had seen his future, and it had been one filled with peace… and warmth.

But that was not going to happen now.

Kylo sat up in his bed and leaned against the headboard. There were so many questions. If Snoke had connected their minds together, why were they still bonded after his death? Was it… he smirked at the ridiculousness of his thought. Was it the Force that had brought them together, and had Snoke lied about that? Snoke was known to use happenstances to his advantage and bluff about his all-knowing power, so no one truly knew how powerful he had been. It was true that Snoke's grasp on the Force had been as large as Kylo had ever seen, even stronger than Skywalker's, but if he could actually link two minds together…

His mind drifted back to his betrayal. He had lied about that. In hindsight, the move had been strategically sound, but it left a foul taste of cowardice in his mouth. He had shoved off the blame to the girl, while he had been fully aware of his actions. He had been confident that if he killed Snoke, Rey would come with him and start a new… a new what, exactly? All he had wanted was to be somewhere where he couldn't be hurt, and where he wouldn't be alone.

She understood him more than anyone besides his mother had ever done. A sudden aching in his chest took his breath away. He laid a hand on his bare chest, lightly grasping his own skin. She had understood him, and she still rejected him. The dull ache flared up, making him grit his teeth. He did not want to deal with this right now.

He stuck out his hand and summoned his lightsabre. With a nod from his head he threw his covers off of him and stood up. After changing into his training attire he stalked out of his room and took the shortest route to his personal training room. It had initially been a public training room, but ever since he started to attend it, it had quickly emptied.

He took his lightsabre and aggressively started to attack the large puppet-like object made with lightsabre crystals. Not even he could easily hack through this item, as he had ordered it custom made with his aggressive fighting style in mind. While practicing a new move he had discovered a few days ago his mind drifted again.

She had called him a monster several times, but after their link had become more pronounced he had been able to explain. Yes, he had killed before, but he had seen her fight and kill without much hesitation too. His chest hurt more and he attacked the object with a recklessness that surprised him. What was it that he wanted? Did he still want to convince Rey to come with him? Would he ever succeed?

Or did he have to kill her?

He rapidly pushed the thought from his mind. He wanted to be somewhere where he was free and safe, where he could make the rules. If possible, he did not want to kill the girl. If he had to to save his plans, he would.

His mind still wandered while he circled around the puppet, throwing his lightsabre at it again and again until his arms grew weak. What was his intent? To rule the galaxy? He did not share Snoke's objectives, all he wanted was rest. If he wasn't so sure the ginger idiot would try and kill him, he might have given over his command.

His chest stung him again and he flinched before screaming at the puppet. Gripping his lightsabre with two hands, he started a complicated sequence of slashes. No. He wouldn't give up his command. He had committed himself to the position of Supreme Ruler, a title he had come to like. The respect it gained him was refreshing, and _she_ and her Rebels stood in the way.

As he turned around to throw his momentum into a slash, all sound disappeared as the link sprung to life. Kylo's eyes grew big and he halted himself just before his lightsabre cut through the image he saw of the girl in the place where the puppet stood.

She barely flinched, glaring at him with a look he did not want to see. It showed him regret and sadness.

"No." he said softly. "Why now?" He straightened and lowered his weapon. "Why NOW!" he yelled at her, feeling some pleasure at her startle.

She was wearing the same clothes he had last seen her in, although dirtier and slightly worn. The bags under her eyes betrayed her fatique, and she seemed to be in a dark environment.

She recovered from her shock and sighed. "I don't know." Her voice was small, without her usual bravado.

He viewed the lightsabre in her hand. "Were you training?"

She followed his gaze, seemingly surprised that she was holding this object. "Apparently." When he questioned her with his eyes, she shook her head. "Nightmares. I can't…" She let her voice trail off.

Good. Let her suffer like he was still suffering. She had years of catching up to do.

Her next sentence caught him off guard. "Luke's gone."

Anger, rage sprouted at the name, but he repressed it. If she still saw him as a potential ally, that was his advantage. "I know." He had felt the shift in the Force as the old man had vanished. He would lose no tears over the Master's death. It had been far too peaceful.

His father's death may have torn him apart inside, but this was a death that had come too late in his eyes.

Silence, for a moment. Then the girl sat down on a surface invisible to him. "Why are you not interrogating me?" she asked with disbelief in her eyes.

Kylo shook his head and smiled. "I am just as much a prisoner of this connection as you are." Besides, seeing her in front of him, alive and doing decently well, was giving him hope. She didn't hate him. Yet.

She smirked, but her heart wasn't in it. He could tell she was dreadfully tired. Her usual energetic and opinionated speech was slow and thoughtful.

"We are enemies," she said softly. "We shouldn't be talking, we shouldn't be linked!"

He cocked his head to the side, thinking. Enemies? He supposed so. "My offer still stands," he stated, his voice coming out softer than he intended.

She looked at him incredulously, and stood up again, taking a step closer to him. "I can't leave the Rebellion behind. You are the Supreme Leader of the First Order. Wherever we went, pain would follow." A bit of her energy and openness had returned to her. He preferred her that way.

So she had thought about it. He agreed that it was an idea close to madness, but it was all he had, all his torn mind could offer her. "Maybe."

"Why can't you leave us alone?" Her voice sounded hopeful. "The galaxy is big enough for two groups. Why?" Her eyes were boring into his with an intensity he matched in his own.

She didn't understand after all. Wherever he went, people would try to recruit him or use him. Whenever there where two factions, there would be war. The only way to live peacefully was for him to be the strongest, the biggest power in the galaxy.

The same rules applied to her.

He turned to leave, saying over his shoulder. "When you understand why I need to do this, come find me. Until then, hang on to your Rebel friends. You'll need them."

He retracted his lightsabre and wished for the connection to end. Before he could leave the room, the girl whispered to him, "We could help each other."

It made him pause. As he turned to look at her, the aching in his chest became unbearable. "I tried, Rey. You left me there."

Sound returned, and instead of the girl he saw the puppet again. He brought his fingers to his temples and tried to massage his thoughts out of his head. He turned around swiftly and stalked back to his room.

The girl would understand one day. If it would be on time, he didn't know.


	2. Torn

**Thank you for the reviews! Keep em coming if you have something you want to address, feedback is always welcome!  
**

 **This was originally a one time thing, but I'm drenching myself in Star Wars and more inspiration is coming out. This won't be super long, I think 3 more chapters at most, but who knows.**

 **Enjoy**

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 _Ben._

Kylo Ren twisted and turned on the sheets. A pained groan left his mouth. His father stood in front of him, one hand on his shoulder. "Ben. I knew you would come around."

He shook his head. "No, dad. I won't." Without hesitation he activated his lightsabre, sending it through his father's chest.

 _Ben._

He saw the colour drain from his father's surprised face, and a pain in his chest tore him apart from the inside. A yell escaped from his mouth, getting louder as he saw his father slump to the floor.

 _Ben!_

He sat up, panting and his bare chest slick with sweat. Around him a few objects fell down as his unconscious grip on the Force slipped, but he heard no sounds. A deafening silence hung around him, and when he looked to the side the worried face of the scavenger girl stared back at him.

She had woken him up. His fists clenched and he buried his nails into his own palms, desperately trying to restore a calm demeanour. She could not see him like this. She could not see him flinch, rage, or be conflicted. The girl had already worn his armour down enough. "We need to stop meeting in the middle of the night," he said softly, a small smile playing on his lips.

She shook her head, but smirked anyway. The torn feeling in his chest he had carried over from his dreams softened slightly and it was easier to relax his fists.

"It's not my choice, Ben." she said, sitting down and leaning with her forearms on her knees.

She looked better, he mused. The bags under her eyes had shrunk, and she had the sparkle in her eyes that he had gotten used to seeing.

A small part of him wished she still had nightmares, if only so she would understand him a little bit better. Suffering would push her toward him.

"What… what were you dreaming about?" Rey asked, her eyes searching his face. It was strange how quickly they had grown accustomed to this link and their interactions. For these few minutes, it felt like he wasn't scouring the galaxy looking for the Rebels and their allies.

He leaned back against the headboard, putting a little more distance between the two of them. "The past. Nothing important." He gestured towards her with his hand. "Why are you up?"

She opened her mouth, but seemed to reconsider and shook her head instead. "I can't tell you."

An uncomfortable silence fell, one which he refused to break. She was the one considering them enemies, while all she needed to do was extend her hand and he would accept her as his equal.

A pained glaze pulled over her eyes and the scavenger whispered, "I'm sorry."

Like last time, she caught him off guard. He frowned before he could catch his own expression. Before he could decide to ask what she meant, she continued, "For leaving you there. I… I wanted you to come with me."

Kylo felt the familiar ache in his chest flare up. "I wanted you to come with me too. But you refused, and here we are." His voice sounded slightly angrier, but he couldn't help it. This girl stirred things inside of him that he had just been able to bury.

If it truly was the Force bringing them together, it really had a piss-poor sense of humour.

She started to speak again, but his patience was wearing thin. Admittedly, it pleased him that she was doing well, but he had a purpose for her. "Stop. What are the Rebels expecting from you? That you are their saviour? That you will lead them into a new Republic?"

Hurt flashed through her eyes and he felt a perverse satisfaction in that moment. Rey stood up and bristled at him, "Yes. Yes, they do! And I will. We won't fall into the hands of the First Order, and we certainly won't let them take control over all life in the galaxy. The Republic worked before, and with Leia, it will again!"

A grimace pulled over Kylo's face. Fall into the hands of the First Order? _He_ was the First Order. _He_ was the one trying to kill her allies, but… did she still have hope that he would join her?

"The Republic was not perfect," he countered, his temper slipping. This is what his grandfather had worked for, and what he intended to continue. "What I am trying to do is make a world where people are allowed to be who they want to be, and where powerful Force users can be _free_." His voice lowered to a growl at the last word.

She was shaking her head before he had finished speaking. "If you come with me, you'll see that the Republic can be such a place. You know your mother, she wants freedom for all who desire it!"

He flung out of bed, ignoring his state of undress. To her credit, she didn't glance down at his comfortable sleeping-attire. "I know my mother and her intentions," he started, his rage building up with every word, "but she doesn't understand! You do. You keep saying you can see my future, but how do you know which path will lead to that future?" The question was sincere, and as she averted her eyes it was all he could do not to scream at her.

Rey seemed to huff herself up in self-defence and sought his eyes out again. "Because I believe –"

"Your belief means nothing to me," he interjected harshly. She had no idea what she was talking about. And she still didn't understand. The Republic had been corrupt and unable to keep a grasp on anything that happened in the Outer Rim, leading to conditions that allowed for more corruption. It had been a downward spiral for anyone not living in the Inner Colonies, and she was naïve for thinking it could be better.

She was too young. She hadn't seen what he had seen.

"Are you at least happy that your mother survived?"

The question in combination with the tone of her voice knocked the air out of him. She sounded so small, so broken, that the ache in his chest seemed to tear his already split soul in even more pieces. He met her eyes, and saw they were moist.

 _No._ That wasn't fair. How could he be the Supreme Leader, trying to create his own Empire, if seeing this girl cry broke his heart?

Even this split him. A part of him wanted, _needed_ to connect with her, to sympathise. Another part of him snarled in pleasure at the fragile being in front of him, needing to manipulate and crush her until she finally broke down completely.

He was absolutely broken inside, and only she could fix it.

Finally focusing on the words she had said, his emotions split again. Yes, he was relieved his mother had survived. He had not been able to shoot her in the first place.

But that was also another bond keeping him connected to that goddamned Republic. The darkness inside of him howled at the words, unhappy that the woman kept him from tumbling down the hole that was the Dark Side of the Force.

"I am." The words were out before he could help it.

Rey glared at him, suddenly untrusting of his words. "Do you mean that?"

Kylo frowned again. "I am guilty of many things, but lying to you isn't one of them."

She then nodded before taking a small step closer to him. "Please think about a Republic where you advice your mother into finding that balance that you seek."

He bore his eyes into hers, but found her unyielding to his stare. "Do you really think the Rebels would let me live if I joined your side? They would have me executed within seconds." Before she could respond, he continued, "Think about why the Republic failed last time, and why it would fail again in this era. When you have gained some insight, I am willing to spar with you."

The girl hesitated. Her voice was quiet, but firm when she whispered, "Your family needs you."

A snarl pulled up his lips and he let out a short, humourless laugh. "Family suddenly means very little when your uncle tries to kill you in your sleep."

As he turned back to his bed, sound returned, and the girl was gone.


	3. Calm before the Storm

**Thank your for the reads/responses! There should be one more chapter after this one. Enjoy a longer chapter!**

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The bridge was bustling with activity, although the crew desperately tried to avoid coming close to Kylo Ren. He stood with his arms on his back, his posture straight and still. He was trying very hard to ignore two things; the conflict within himself that whispered to him every moment, and the ginger-haired idiot booming commands next to him.

General Hux was the leader of the military, and unfortunately Kylo needed him. For some reason the general had been able to keep the military together after Snoke's death. Kylo was a leader, but he lacked the understanding of how Hux had the respect of his personnel that he did. It didn't matter in his plans, but it did mean he needed the man alive.

It didn't mean he couldn't out his frustration and irritation once in while, and Hux just didn't learn. Which was perfect for Kylo's temper.

His temper had recently spiked, after the last conversation with the girl. The emotions swirling through him at all time left him unable to deal with crew asking him questions, reporting to him, or even being in the same room with him. The only reason he was on the bridge now was because he had a duty as Supreme Ruler to appear to his troops. He knew what his duties were, but to actually fulfil them was something he struggled to do.

The last years he had drawn strongly on the dark side of the Force, using his hatred, frustration and passion to fuel his strength. Something inside of him had always been hesitant, had always been drawn to the light. Ever since he had killed his father, his light side came up more often, and his grip on the Force had changed. It hadn't become weaker, but it had pushed his personality back to the light, into his conflicted state. Before his link with the girl, his rage had still conquered the light most of the times, drawing from the dark side.

But since he had been linked with the girl, it had been harder and harder to let his rage win. The resulting tear in his emotions was not only frustrating, but also exhausting.

With sleep hard to come, it was no surprise that he was downright enraged at the slightest provocation.

It hadn't stopped Hux from getting on his nerves.

"We're sure to find them, sir."

Realizing that Hux was speaking to him he started paying attention again. "I hope so, general," he answered, keeping his voice emotionless.

"Don't worry about it, sir," Hux said, looking very pleased with himself. His hands were on his back as well, but he hopped up on down on his toes. "My sources are never wrong."

Kylo shot a look at the man, staring him down until the general looked back out to space. A large green planet hung in front of them, where Hux's 'sources' had seen the girl's ship land in one of the large cities on the planet's surface.

His thoughts drifted back to her. Since their last contact he had thought a lot about her words, but kept coming up with the same arguments. The Republic had failed. He had mulled that over and had come to that conclusion years ago. He had read tomes and scrolls about politics, and he knew he was right. The old way of the Sith wasn't the answer either, but it came closer than the Republic had.

The girl was too trusting, too believing in his mother. His mother was a good leader, but she believed in the old ways too much. There was no way they would succeed, and his mother would never listen to his advice.

He had to do it this way.

A trooper hurried into the room and whispered rapidly in Hux's ear. The man perked up instantly and thanked the trooper before dismissing him. Kylo kept looking straight, but he could feel the arrogance wash of the man. It was good news.

"Sir, our spies have spotted the girl in Thorax, negotiating with local inns to set up communications. She's in our grasp."

The ginger man grinned at him with the smuggest look Kylo had ever seen. "Good," he answered. "Ready my ship."

That staggered the general. "S-sir? Our elite troops can handle this-"

With a flick of his wrists Kylo floored the man, using the Force to push his legs from under him. From his position on the ground the general answered promptly, "Yes sir!"

Kylo turned around and stalked off, trying to push down the excitement that was bubbling up.

While he waited for his crew to be ready he couldn't stop his thoughts.

It was a trap. The girl was alone, and she maybe didn't know where he was, or how they were monitoring the Inner Rim, but she did have that deserter with her. The first thing he had probably done was tell the resistance how the inner workings of the First Order were.

So it was a trap. He was stronger than the girl, he would be able to take her with him if he wished. Was she hoping to convince him when she was actually standing in front of him?

Their last contact was a week ago, it was very possible that she had thought about his question.

Anger bloomed in his chest and he felt the Force flow through him. Silently he stalked to his ship, knowing his impatience would urge and panic his crew.

He fed off of their fear and let it fuel his grip on the Force. If their would be a confrontation, he would need it.

Twenty minutes later he set foot on the extended hatch of his ship. In a fluent movement he jumped down and retreated into the Force. He reached out, trying to find her energy.

After a short search he pinpointed her location a few miles away, moving through a dense forest. With a quick command he made his troops guard the ship and walked off. None of the crew dared oppose him, especially not when he was in this mood. He entered the line of trees and kept going straight for her, blind to his surroundings.

She stopped moving, and he heightened his pace. During his walk his temper rose, his anger and frustration rising with it.

When he saw her, his temper first clawed its way to the surface, but then melted away. He didn't know what to say, he didn't know what to think. Instead he felt a calm rise up, overpowering his instincts to attack her.

She sat on a large wooden log in front of a river, her legs folded beneath her and her dual-stick on her lap. She wore grey folded robes in her usual style, and her eyes were closed in meditation. The Force radiated from her in waves, making he easy to read.

He had expected her to be nervous, or determined. Instead, she was calm.

Without waiting for her to turn around or respond to his presence, he spoke. "Can you feel it?" When she didn't respond, he continued, "When we meet, the Force is in balance."

She moved her bent head up, looking out into the forest. "I feel it, Ben." Her use of his given name made him flinch ever so slightly. He had locked that part of himself away again.

She continued, "But I don't understand what the Force wants from us." Her voice was small and uncertain, a weakness a Sith would never show.

Kylo remained where he was, looking at her back with his lightsabre at his side. "It wants us to work together, to keep the balance together. When we fought those elites, we had never fought together before, yet we were in perfect harmony." His voice sped up, as he felt this was his last chance to convince her to come with him. "We can leave our pasts behind and live in harmony with the Force, live in peace."

 _Peace is a lie._ The words rang through his head, the first words of the Sith creed, but he ignored them. He would give up his teachings, his grandfather, if it meant she would come with him.

"I've thought about what you said."

His heart raced when the words left her mouth, but he waited for her to say more.

"About the republic, and about your goal. I..." She turned her head to look over her shoulder. "I think I understand."

Her words weren't enough, he needed her to explain -

"The republic wants peace and justice for all, but they don't know how to enforce it." Her voice started out slow, but gained traction as she continued. "They believe they need the Jedi to help them, which makes them vulnerable. There are not enough Jedi left to defend everywhere, and there's anti-republic factions throughout the galaxy. The republic will always count on others to defend them, and I… I just want peace." During her speech she had stood up to face him, and now her eyes were sad and broken again, and he had the strange urge to comfort her. Instead he took one step closer, making sure he was sending out a soothing aura.

"So will you come with me?" His voice quivered with anticipation. "Will you help me create a world where we can both live in our own way?" He paused, watching her response. She was staring at the stick in her hands, but he read confusion in her. She was still hesitant.

"Rey…" he tasted her name, having used it only a handful of time so far. "With the First Order troops, we could establish everything we need."

Still she doubted. The girl looked at him through heavy-lashed eyes, chewing on her lip. Giving her one last push, he stepped towards her and extended his hand. He kept his voice soft and quivering, and found he truly wanted to put all of his faith in her. "Teach me to be light."

This made her look up, and she found his face open and earnest. He wanted to trust her, and he through the force he knew she wanted to trust her too. Slowly the girl raised her hand, hesitating when she was millimetres away from his.

After a second, Rey seemed to cast out her fears and touched his fingers.

For those not sensitive in the Force looking towards them, nothing happened. Between them, however, a whirlwind of the Force roared into life, enveloping them and exploding out in a shockwave. The trees and bushes around them bent backwards, but the wave had been benign, with mostly neutral energy. No dark side, no light side, but neutral, leaving the surroundings unharmed.

Warmth spread through Kylo's body as he held on to Rey's hand, and the Force slowly settled down. It had been so long since he had felt the Force come from a different source than the dark side, that he had trouble recognising it for what it was. In his body a new pool of energy lay dormant, waiting for him to draw on it.

She made him stronger.

Enthusiasm flooded him, but hers was stronger. A huge grin spread on her face, and she pulled him – actually _pulled_ him – in the direction he had arrived from. "Come! We… we must test this! We must discuss everything, we need to figure out what just happened!"

As she pulled him along, he found a smile playing around his own lips. She could fix him. And now she would. But it would be a long way to go.

First, he had to make sure Hux accepted his new vision. A dark shadow pulled over his face, threatening to smother his smile. And he had to make sure nobody harmed the girl.

The dark side hadn't left him yet, but maybe he would find his way into the Gray.


	4. Fixed

**Alright, so it took me a while to get this chapter done, because I got carried away with it a little bit. I hope you guys like where it went, and although a little cheesy, I feel this is a proper ending.**

 **Let me know what you think!**

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Kylo leaned with his arm against the window, his head against his arm. Staring out into space he relished in his newfound calm. It was liberating to not have anger churning around inside of him, clouding his thoughts. Rey was in his room, sleeping on his couch. When he was around her, his head was clear and his plans were obvious.

He thought back to the conversation they had after he had successfully brought her onto the ship.

" _Ben, are you sure?"_

 _He nodded, leaning on his knees. He had removed his black robes for a more comfortable dark tunic, finding he didn't care if it was less intimidating. "I can't go back to the Light completely. I'm not lost, but there's still Dark inside of me."_

 _She frowned and wiggled her nose. "The Jedi are gone. Luke is dead, and I'm the only one left. But if we don't have some organisation with power, how are we going to convince the rest of the galaxy to leave us alone? Do we need to make a school? There are still children with the gift of the Force, how would we teach them? We cannot teach them the Dark Side, but you can't teach the Light side."_

 _Kylo was silent. He knew the answer. Now he just had to convince her. But it wasn't the time yet. She didn't trust him enough yet._

 _He leaned back and redirected the conversation. "How's my mother?"_

 _Rey raised her brow at the subject change, but leaned back too. "She's strong. Anyone else wouldn't have survived the…" she paused. It hadn't been him who pulled the trigger and blasted the meeting room of the leaders of the Rebellion, but it could have been. And she knew._

" _She's strong," The girl repeated. "And she understands us more than you think."_

 _Slowly, very slowly, they started to get comfortable talking. Many silences fell between them, and there were plenty of painful topics they tried to avoid. But slowly, he got to know her._

After hours of stilted conversation, he had been able to persuade her to rest. Looking out over the stars and planets in front of him, he felt strangely at peace.

The calm was rudely interrupted when Hux stalked around the corner and paced towards him.

Kylo closed his eyes and ignored the bubbling of rage inside of him. The ginger idiot could remove all the effects the girl had on him in seconds.

"Sir, are you sure the girl can be trusted?"

The voice rang through the hallway. Kylo used the Force to feel out the man's emotions and found turmoil inside of him. Hux didn't trust him, but wanted to. He wanted to be led, and he wanted to succeed, be powerful. Kylo was his best way of doing so, leading to the conflict.

Kylo took a step back from the glass. "I'm sure, but it does change our objective." He toyed with the idea he had while browsing his tomes hours before meeting Rey on Thorax. Turning towards the general, he decided to use it. "Gather a fast ship with a small crew and send them to me. I have a recon mission for them."

Hux huffed, puffing up his chest. "Sir, I could relay your orders. There's no need –"

Normally Kylo would blast the man's legs out from under him, but he kept his temper in check. The girl was changing him sooner than he had anticipated. "Send them to me," he interrupted, his voice firm.

Hux seemed to deflate, shrinking and nodding in submission. He saluted and turned to walk away, but Kylo halted him. "Hux. It's not that I don't trust you to do it, but this is something I need to do myself." Without waiting for the general's answer, he turned back to the window. After a second or two, he heard and sensed the general stalking away.

He was getting soft already.

The next morning he woke up refreshed, something he hadn't felt in a long time. As he sat up, he saw the girl was still sleeping, but her breathing was light. She would most likely wake up soon. He sat for a while, staring in her general direction while feeling out the Force. He still wasn't weaker, but his power had changed. He had always been very aggressive, in his attacks with his lightsabre and in his Force prowess. He had raw power that Snoke had fine-tuned into a deadly weapon, while others, such as Skywalker, preferred illusions and trickery. His power was still there, but it felt more controlled.

He wondered where the girl's ability's laid. She was strong too, with raw power, but she was less aggressive than him. Maybe she preferred healing, or touching the emotions of others. Last night she had told him how she escaped from his ship when she had been captive, and without training manipulating someone's emotions was intensely difficult. It was very possible that was where her talent flourished.

"Good morning."

Her voice was sleepy and warm, and he snapped out of his thoughts to answer her gaze. "Good morning," he answered. This was strange. He never exchanged pleasantries with anyone.

Deciding he wasn't ready for small talk, he took a direct approach. "Why do you think the Force did what it did when we touched?"

It was something he truly wanted to know, and something they hadn't been able to figure out yesterday. The old records were vague and contradictory when it came to the intricacies of the Force.

Maybe after a calm night, she had meditated on the answer.

Rey rubbed her eyes and yawned before answering. "You like getting to the point immediately, don't you?" Before he could comment, she smirked and continued, "It's fine, Ben. I haven't found an answer yet, but… want to try if it does it again?"

She reached out with her hand, beckoning for him to come. Hesitantly, he pulled back his covers and complied. Slowly he moved towards her, expecting to feel nervous, but there was only calm. When their fingers touched, the well of power inside of him jumped, but the response was not as dramatic as it had been the first time. Somewhat disappointed and definitely puzzled, he retreated.

"I don't understand," he voiced softly.

She chewed her lip for a second, then jumped up and stretched. "I don't either. But we'll get there. The Force brought us together, now it has to show us the reason."

"Your faith in the clarity of the Force is very misplaced." His remark came out dryly, and she smirked again.

"You might be right. Where's breakfast?"

He couldn't have her run around the ship as it would most likely alarm his troops, so he arranged for breakfast to be delivered. After a silent breakfast they resumed their conversation, steered by his earlier question. "What did you learn from Skywalker?" Kylo needed to know how much she had been taught, how much she knew about the Force. If she was a blank slate, it might be easier for them to attune to each other.

"Not much," she admitted, chewing her lip. "He didn't want to teach me, at first. He believed the Jedi Order was dead."

This surprised him. Had his departure on the order damaged the old man that much? He knew Skywalker thought he had failed, but to believe his entire order was gone?

He didn't voice his concerns. Instead he asked, "What do you know?"

She blushed, throwing him off guard. "Don't... think differently of me." She took a deep breath and said, "I know the Force does not _belong_ to us. It's an energy connecting everything and everyone, in all living things."

When she didn't continue, he frowned. That was it? How did she manage to control the Force the way she did? "You haven't trained in the ways of the Force otherwise?" He asked, purposefully keeping his voice even and neutral.

She shook her head, radiating insecurity. Kylo couldn't help but stare at her. He knew he himself had been able to use the Force without training, but to do it to the extent that she had? She had duelled with him, using the Force to keep him at bay, without any training or help from a Master? That was insane.

She blushed under his gaze and looked away. "What?"

He voiced his thoughts carefully. "You have potential most Masters could only dream of. If you let me train you how to control your power, I can show you how to utilise that potential."

Rey looked up at him, frowning and obviously thinking hard, before finally nodding with a determined look. "Ok."

Kylo kept his emotions behind his usual mask. This girl would never have been able to be a Sith. She was the embodiment of honesty and openness, which made her perfect for what he had in mind. "Balance," he whispered, knowing it would spike her curiosity.

She immediately hung on his lips, leaning forward with a sparkle in her eyes. A part of Kylo felt guilty for tricking her, wanting to be as honest with her as she was with him. A small, buried part of him that kept getting weaker and weaker felt satisfaction at his manipulation.

He sat up straight, his hands on his knees. "When we touch, there is balance. The Force is not just Dark or Light, the Force is balance. I… I need to meditate on this."

That bought him time, waiting until his dispatched team returned.

She nodded, her own eyes clouded in thought. Good. He was winning her.

The following week they trained and talked. Kylo realised they were getting to know each other, and he was mostly being as honest as he could with her. It was strange for him to open himself up like this, but it didn't feel like a bad thing.

He trained her in the ways of the Force, and she trained him in controlling himself. By proposing him different situations and showing him how to analyse his emotions, she was burying his cruel side deeper and deeper. He hadn't considered the possibility before, but he was enjoying this time. While the ship of the First Order drifted through space on a slow search, he found himself not caring about his previous mission. Instead his future slowly shaped itself in his mind.

Meanwhile Rey was getting stronger rapidly, his instructions helping her grasp the extend of her power. Kylo felt that she shared his strengths, although her talent did seemed to lie in manipulation of the mind.

After a peaceful week he received a report from the team he sent out. With growing enthusiasm he took the box they gave him and returned to his room. Rey was wandering around the ship, his crew informed and instructed to treat her like an honoured guest. The ginger idiot had objected at first, but she had been able to charm him quite fast. Kylo suspected she had nudged Hux's mind slightly during their conversation.

Still, the general expressed his concern readily, expecting Kylo to lock Rey up, to question her about the whereabouts of the Rebels to crush them once and for all – but it would never work. Even the cruel side of him admitted that she would die before giving up her friends.

He shook his head, eyes clouded by the distraction. Carefully he raised the lid of the box and eyed the contents within. A few scrolls and two books were meticulously packed. The scrolls were yellow and faded, and the books were darkened by time.

Gently he lifted one of the books, opening it and studying the cover. It read: _The Gray Order; the true path._ As he slowly flipped through the pages, reading snippets of text, his excitement grew. He could convince her with his.

He needed to summon her. He thought about getting servants to find her, but as soon as she entered his thoughts the room fell into a deafening silence. With a start he looked up and found her standing in front of him. "Did you..." He trailed off when she started shaking her head.

Instead she looked at him with an equal mix of understanding and confusion. "It's the link. Did... did you need me?"

Kylo nodded, slightly breathless. "Could you come back to the room?"

Rey perked up, and with an excited response the link broke again. Kylo shook his head. Had... had he just summoned the link with his mind? Had his thoughts brought the link to life? This needed experimentation.

A few minutes later she bounded through the door, already so comfortable in his presence. Curiously she looked at the book still in his hand. He handed the book to her, studying her as she read the title. "This book explains our future," he stated.

"Gray Jedi..." She mumbled thoughtfully. "I think I've heard this being mentioned once or twice on my planet, but it was whispered in the dark. What are they?"

Hope jumped up again inside of him as he slowly started to explain. "The Gray Jedi are a group who believe in the balance of the Force. This is their creed." He recited the words he had just printed into his memory.

There is no Dark Side, nor a Light Side  
There is only the Force  
I will do what I must to keep the balance  
The balance is what keeps me together  
There is no good without evil, but evil must not be allowed to flourish  
There is passion, yet peace  
Serenity, yet emotion  
Chaos, yet order

I am the wielder of the flame, the protector of balance  
I am the holder of the torch, lighting the way  
I am the keeper of the flame, soldier of balance  
I am a guardian of balance  
I am a Gray Jedi

Kylo waited until she nodded before continuing, "They drew on both Dark side and Light side, and were not corrupted by the Dark, nor as idealistic as the Light."

Her eyes grew big and she opened the book gently, careful not to damage the old, weathered pages. "Where did you find this?" she asked, obviously impressed with the texts.

"On Korriban, the home of the Jedi Temples." He paused, tasting his next words carefully before speaking them. "The Force is in balance when we are together, and the Jedi are dead, as are the Sith. _This_ is our future."

Her cheeks coloured with excitement as he watched her devour the words with her eyes. "Can I study this?" Her words were eager, childlike.

Kylo nodded. He hadn't expected her to commit without knowing what it was, but he was incredibly hopeful that she understood. He himself had studied as much as he could before these writings came into his possession, but he still wanted to explore these new scrolls.

A few hours later they were still in the room, each of them bent over a piece of scripture. Every few minutes one of them would offer a new insight about why the Force brought them together, and what they would do next. "The balance the Force brings us could be a cry for the Gray. It _needs_ balance now the Sith and Jedi are gone."

"If we gather the forces of the First Order and the Rebels, we could start a new place!"

"No, I believe it needs to be the two of us. Bringing others disrupts the balance that we make. Maybe the whirlwind happened because it was just us two, with no one around."

"That could definitely be it! Can we test it out?"

Kylo smiled. "Let's keep studying this for now." He felt at ease with the girl at his side. Before she had been there, he was actually slowly being corrupted by the Dark side. Now, that corruption was being battled. She had recovered his smile.

An hour later, he knew what he needed to do. He stood up suddenly, visibly startling Rey. She looked up at him with a twinkle in her eyes. "Is it time for training?"

He shook his head. "No. We need to discuss… this." He gestured to the book in her hands.

She looked at him, noting how serious he was, and nodded quickly. "Yes."

He sat down on the edge of his bed and leaned forward. "What do you think?"

Rey smiled somewhat sadly, throwing him off guard. "I wished Luke had told me about this."

Kylo found himself shaking his head. "He didn't believe in this. He believed in the Light until his last breath."

"But he said the Jedi were dead..." Her voice rang with sadness and confusion, and once more he was struck with how she wore her emotions so clearly. A small, unkillable force inside of him roared.

"He lost faith in the order, but not in the Light." His answer was meant to comfort her, but he could tell she still grieved for her passed teacher. Kylo cleared his head, reevaluating the questions he still wanted answered.

"I strongly believe the link was meant to bring us together. It wasn't Snoke. I also think we can learn to control the link. The Force has plans for us, and if we follow the way of the Gray, we will be able to fulfill our destiny."

She frowned, creases appearing above her nose. "What destiny do you see?"

He smiled at the image in his mind. "I see us, traveling the galaxy, spreading the word of the Gray and keeping the balance. We could start a school to teach young Force users how to keep the balance."

Rey chewed her lip, looked him in the eye, and nodded. "Yes." She gently put the book down, stood up and moved towards him, startling him. Without warning, she fiercely threw her arms around him, enveloping him in a… hug?

She spoke, mumbling her words against his shoulder. "I believe you. We should do this. The Force has called at for us, and this feels like it's supposed to happen."

Kylo couldn't breathe. His eyes grew big, and he stood frozen. He expected his insides to roar at him, his instincts to tell him to slap her away, to Force-choke her… but instead, it was quiet.

Slowly, he lowered his arms and answered her hug. She still didn't let go. Where she touched him, his skin grew hot. Without a word, he found himself burying his face in her hair, intensely glad that things happened the way they did.

She would fix him. If she hadn't already.

* * *

 **Just because this story is done, doesn't mean this is the end of me writing about these two. Reviews are much appreciated!**


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